Who Speaks for You?

Photo by CHUTTERSNAP on Unsplash

Have you ever been in a room where someone else speaks for you? Where your voice is silenced, your perspective ignored? I recently witnessed this firsthand at a workshop, and it ignited a fire within me. As an adult adoptee I have wrestled for decades with the fear that I couldn’t speak up or that my voice would cause others to be uncomfortable.

No one in that room understood my anger, but those who know me well would recognize my instinct to defend the voiceless.

When I learned I was adopted, I feared that my questions would hurt my parents so I didn’t talk about the subject openly.

I internalized everything imaginable about my adoption from the reasons I was relinquished to the fantasy of who my birth mother was. I believed that I did something wrong as an infant which forced her to abandon me. I imagined she looked like Diahann Carroll and lived. on a sprawling ranch along with my “younger siblings.”

Years later, I met her and learned that my imaginary younger siblings were real-life older brothers and I let everyone around me tell me that I was okay.

That I should be grateful that I had a good life.

They told me that my biological mother’s reaction to my questions and desire for truth was just “the way she was” and I should not complain.

For many years I cried and wrestled with the way everyone was being heralded as a hero while I was nursing wounds that had been inflicted by people who only got a glimpse of my story.

I had unwittingly handed the microphone to someone else and given them the freedom to narrate my story.

Until I realized one day that I had the power to speak for myself.

I learned that the true testimony of God’s presence in my story can only be seen when I tell my story.

No one else has earned that right.

Seeing someone else silenced ignited a fire within me. It was a stark reminder of the countless times I’ve been overlooked, undervalued, and underestimated. But I refuse to let my voice be silenced any longer. With God’s grace and strength, I’ve learned to embrace my unique story and share it with others. It’s time to break free from the chains of silence and speak our stories.

It’s time to reclaim our narratives, empowered by the presence of God within us. As adoptees, we are uniquely woven into the tapestry of God’s plan. Our stories, though often marked by challenges, are also stories of grace, resilience, and unwavering hope. Let’s use our voices to inspire, to heal, and to glorify the One who has called us to this journey.